I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. And I still do. What can I do please? Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Does he still love me? Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. A. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. go and apologise. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. If you don't, pursuing. Time to grow up! In other words, those maternal. :(. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. not the father, mother or child. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. I was in love with someone else. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". I was By entering this site you declare She has someone who depends solely on her. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. . . 1.) In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Same boat. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. It's not that they don't want to. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Learn more about. silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. That showed up as a third factor." I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. Tist: Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Probably. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Is anyone in the same situation. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. Not. I know she doesn't want to be with me and I stop loving her and I don't want to be with her anymore. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! In the end its all about the kids. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. But I want to be a father. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. useless boy!! There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. Only knowing that you don't feel good with your current situation won't make any change unless you do. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. He's not all bad. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. Having children is not cheap. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. I need help moving on. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. my point is no one really wins in this situation. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. It was very stressful. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. It was required that women felt their decreased desire was significantly lower than that of their partner's. The authors interviewed 15 women between the ages of 25 and 59. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Create an account or log in to participate. Thanks again JP. I know that my kids love us both. You have a hard decision to make. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. She doesn't deserve that. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. Either way, I was ready to "play house". think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. Good luck to you. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. We can and should celebrate those things while also giving our love and support to those who are struggling to get there, and to those who don't want any part of that scene, ever. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. LoveDevani is an independent website. Sorry I must've misread. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . 1. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. I hope you find what you're looking for. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. "All of the rational thoughts. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Ex My moving on process. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. We literally virtually broke up the night before! You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. This is why friends with benefits is never a good idea. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. But kids are smarter than you think. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? I want to be a father!!! Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. Once the humiliation of being in a loveless marriage is confronted, it can be accepted and even result in a long-term relationship. Add to Collection. No passion. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. Help :(. You're a mom now. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. No going back. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. People reports the famous couple's "miracle baby"-a daughter-was born Wednesday, Nov. 7, via surrogate. You have to do what you feel is right.